Until I realized I was talking to myself

2006-02-08 - 6:41 p.m.

This is the week I've been both dreading and looking forward to for quite some time. This is the week I'm scheduled to train Lolo on the MS3 shift for four days. Three of those days have now gone by and I've yet to train him.

Monday Banana called in sick, so despite the fact that I haven't been trained there, I spent the day working the MS2 shift instead of training Lolo. I felt bad because that left Lolo working MS3 by himself while not fully trained. He's still a bit overwhelmed by the shift, it takes a while to get enough practice at it to be able to complete all the work in one day. I tried to be there for him and help him out when I could, but I had a whole shift to cover too so I wasn't available much.

Tuesday Banana showed up, but Deep called in sick. So I had to work tele. For some reason this pissed us both off more than it probably should've. In fact, I don't think I've ever seen Lolo so pissed off. I assumed that he must've been having a tough morning before he came to work and this just made it worse, but when I asked him later he denied that. I actually heard his pissed off voice, which I've never heard before. Someone (I don't remember who) asked him if he was ok and he said in an extremely venomous tone, "Yeah, but it would be nice to get some training." I tried again to be with him, but tele is much busier than MS2 (I had 4 patients to round on on MS2 and 15 on tele) so I was pretty much never available to him at all. I was upset by the fact that Lolo wasn't getting the training he deserved and that he was being thrown into a shift he wasn't ready for and being overwhelmed by it, so I sent an e-mail to our clinical boss complaining about the situation. Then I was informed that while working CCU last week I failed to monitor free phenytoin levels in a patient with renal failure and now the patient's liver is failing as a possible result. Then I attended a code in which the patient didn't survive and I ended up only having time to work up 5 of my 15 patients before 9:15 rounds.

After rounds I met up with Lolo and I was very almost in tears. I would normally not show this to anyone, but I decided he should know that I was having a tough day too. We couldn't find anywhere with two computer work stations available, so I left him at a free computer and locked myself in a bathroom and had a good cry. Ah, it's amazing how much a good cry can help. I felt so much better after that--not all better, but better.

He paged me later and told me he was going to take his lunch away from the pharmacy to "depharmacify" himself for a bit. I was committed to attending a lecture during my lunch break so I couldn't go with him. I called him back two minutes later and asked if he would be willing to "depharmacify" with me after work. He agreed to it, and that helped pick up the rest of my day, too. And then I got an e-mail back from our clinical boss promising that no matter who called in sick the next day, I would not be pulled from training Lolo to cover.

I ended up having to stay a half hour overtime to finish all my tele work, but that wasn't too bad considering. Lolo was waiting for me in the breakroom and we walked to my place together. We collapsed onto my couch for a bit of mutual venting and commiserating. Honestly, when I asked him to "depharmacify" with me, that's all I had in mind, plus dinner probably. But we ended up moving to the bed, followed by a walk to a nearby Thai restaurant and drug store, then back to bed. I finally sent him on his way home a little after 9 with a promise for a sleepover Thursday night.

So Monday Banana called in sick, Tuesday Deep called in sick, and Wednesday? Lolo called in sick! Actually, he called me at home at about 6:40 and told me he was going to be late because he had cut his toe and he had to get the bleeding to stop before he could go to work. I didn't ask for details at the time because I figured I'd get all the details when I saw him at work. So I was working on MS3 waiting for him to show up when I got a page from Miko saying that Lolo had called in sick. I ended up doing MS3 by myself. Three different clinical shifts in three days--is that a record? Probably not, but it's definitely not common. At least MS3 is an easy shift, I was done with the work by 2. Anyway, it turns out that Lolo had stubbed his pinky toe on his washing machine and cut it really badly. He wasn't able to get his shoe on so he called in sick. I've seen his toe, and I have to say I don't blame him--yuck, it's quite a gash. I was a bit annoyed though because I felt like I went to bat for him by e-mailing our clinical boss (I have never brought a concern to a boss here before) and then she went to bat for him too by talking with her boss and Miko to make sure that if there were sick calls other arrangements would be made for coverage besides getting me to do it. And then Lolo didn't show up.

Tomorrow is our last scheduled day together. Do you think Lolo and I will actually work together?