Then turn back around

2007-02-21 - 2:03 p.m.

Last night as we got into bed, Lolo asked me if I'd thought anymore about what confuses me about him. I had thought we were done with that. I tried to tell him how I just want to know how to make him happy so that he'll want me but it didn't come out very clearly. I told him how I feel as though it's always me that initiates physicalness between us and that was more clear. He said mostly because we usually don't have much time together and I'm always more tired than he is at night. I told him I wouldn't mind being surprised now and then and he agreed to keep that in mind. Then he said that the best way to make him happy is to tell him what's on my mind. So I said, "Remember the list you made last night of things that you want? I wasn't on it. That's what's on my mind." He hugged me and after a long pause, "Believe me, you should've been on it." Then after an even longer pause he continued with his list: "I want to marry you, I want to buy a house together, I want to make breakfast for our daughters..." I kissed him and said, "I want those things too." And somehow from there we started discussing baby names. And we haven't stopped since. That wasn't a proposal, but it was the next best thing. That's the first time that the actual M word has come up. And it feels pretty good.