...No one was I disturbing...

2003-03-03 - 12:25 p.m.

The worst part about the departure of Aunt Flo is that she takes all of her water-retaining hormones with her. All of a sudden my body comes to its senses, so to speak, and realizes how volume overloaded I am. I pee off 5-8 pounds in one day. I might as well take up residency in the bathroom for the day.

I'm in clinic today. I'm starting my mangement rotation this week so I should be switching my clinic day to Friday, but I'm interviewing potential residents on Friday so I decided to postpone the switch for a week. I'm supposed to be working on being more engaging in clinic. I hate it. I hate being in clinic. I see it as a large waste of my time. I don't belong there. There's nothing I can do about it and it's frustrating. All I can do is try to do what people want me to do.

I've been really bad about going to the gym recently. I can't remember the last time I went. That doesn't mean it's been forever, it just means I'm brainless. But seriously, it's been at least a week. I wish I had time to go in the morning. I really prefer to exercise at the beginning of the day rather than the end. But I'm already getting up at 5. Besides, I don't think my gym is open so early in the morning. I don't go to 24-Hour. I should look into that. I feel like I'm losing motivation in all aspects of my life. I don't want to go to work. I don't want to go to the gym. All I want to do is play. I'm looking forward to Wednesday's volleyball playoffs. I'm also looking forward to my trip in April. But besides that? Not much. Mostly just a lot of anxiety about what I'm going to do with myself after the residency and whether or not I can manage to finish all the stuff I've been putting off before July. My biggest project has to be done before May. Actually before April because I have to start practicing my presentation in front of the staff in April. Oh joy. I think I need an infusion of inspiration. Anybody have any extra they can spare?