...I was walking down the street in tipsy pride...

2003-03-03 - 7:30 a.m.

Do you ever feel like your whole life is an exercise in futility? I feel I'm just going through the motions. As I woke up this morning and the fog of dreamland drifted away, my first coherent thought was, "What the hell are you doing?" To which I sighed and murmured, "I'm going to work." I don't really have a choice. Of course I do have a choice. But I'm not prepared to deal with the consequences of not going to work just yet. So I continue doing what I'm doing. Am I too young to feel like I'm wasting my life? Time is slipping through my fingers. I feel like that CFX song "Going Away":

Lookin' out my window
Lookin' down the road
I would like to go far away
Away from this place
I wanna see the world before I die
Before too many years go by 
I've got to go
Before I get too old

And hopefully someday I'll feel like the chorus, too:

So I'm going away 
And I'm leaving today
And I won't be back for while
I'm gettin' on a train, a bus, or a plane
I'm gonna leave this place in style
But before I go I just want you to know
That although it hasn't been very long
We'll meet again together my friend 
And we'll laugh and we'll sing this song
Yeah we'll laugh and we'll sing this song