Blue sky holiday

2006-03-07 - 6:00 a.m.

Last Thursday I worked until midnight as scheduled and then Friday, through a series of shift trades with Buzz and Blinky, I came in to work the lead shift at 7am. It was a little tough at times, but mostly it was just fine. And it was totally worth it. After work Lolo came by my place and we drove up north to Vancouver. I ended up sleeping in the car all the way until the border and then woke up to help find the hotel. We stayed in a fairly inexpensive hotel that night, which was just fine because pretty much we got there and went straight to sleep.

Saturday morning we drove down to Tsawwassen and caught the 11am ferry over to Swartz Bay on Vancouver Island. Those BC ferries are so much nicer than the Washington ferries! It was a beautiful trip over on the ferry. You kind of wind your way through some of the islands and it was mostly sunny, although cold. From Swartz Bay we drove down to Victoria. It was still a little early so we found a place to park and walked around downtown. We had lunch at a place called Wharfside that had outdoor seating right on the waterfront. Beautiful. We walked a bit more and ended up checking into our hotel, Laurel Point Inn, which was also right on the waterfront and beautiful. From our patio we had views of the Parliament building and The Empress hotel. We walked back through town to get the car and drove it out to a park on the other side of town where we got out and watched the sunset on the beach. Then we spent the rest of the evening together in our room. We ended up grabbing dinner from the restaurant in the hotel.

The next morning we took our time getting out of bed, walked over to downtown for breakfast and then got in the car and drove up the coast to Port Renfrew. Nothing special there, really, besides the end of the road, but we wanted to see it. It was a long windy drive and probably not really worth the effort. There were places just as pretty or prettier along the way. We went for a short walk out to the beach, which was, of course, beautiful. It's pretty much due north of Cape Flattery (the northwestern-most point in the continental U.S.) across the Strait of Juan de Fuca. We drove back to Victoria and had an early dinner at a restaurant called The Garlic Rose. Stopped by a big book store called Chapters on the way back to the hotel in hopes that it would have music a la Barnes and Noble (because I've been wanting to buy Daniel Powter's CD that hasn't been released in the U.S. yet), but it didn't. We walked back to our hotel room and spent the evening on the couch watching the Oscars and then in bed.

The next morning we got up relatively early, checked out of the hotel, had breakfast at a coffee shop downtown, and spent the rest of the morning at the BC Museum of Natural History. We drove back up to Swartz Bay and arrived at the ferry terminal at 12:55 for the 1pm ferry. Unfortunately, we, and the four cars ahead of us, didn't fit on the boat, so we ended up having to wait around the terminal until the 3pm ferry arrived--delayed due to weather. Then we had a fairly uneventful drive back to Seattle, where Lolo dropped me off at my place around 8pm.

Over all, I had a wonderful trip. Sometimes I worry though. I know it's silly, but I worry that I'm too clingy. I really like to be in physical contact with Lolo. Nothing too major, holding his hand or his elbow while we're walking together or his hand on my thigh when I'm driving or even just bumping shoulders occasionally in the museum. I don't think he minds, but sometimes I worry he does. I absolutely love it when we're walking and he puts his hand or his elbow out for me to take. It blows me away.

One morning he told me he loved me. He said, "I love you...I know I haven't said that in a while." Yes, I'd noticed he hadn't said it in a while. I wanted to ask him why. Is there a reason for that? But I didn't. And it made me really happy to hear him say it again.

And one evening he said to me, "I was thinking we should spend more nights together." Or something very much along those lines. I wasn't really sure what he meant by that. Damn it, I should've asked. Instead, like a dumbass, I just thought about it. Mostly I was thinking logistics. I mean, as it is it seems as though we spend most nights together when our work schedules allow. He spends the night at my place almost every time our evening schedules aren't too variant and when his work schedule the next day has him either going to work in scrubs or gives him enough time to go home to get ready for work or if he has the day off. Did he really mean that he thinks we should make it more serious and move in together? What did he mean? Honestly, I want to spend as much time as possible with him. I'd love to live with him. I want to marry this boy. But...is that what he meant? Why didn't I ask? There I was just being silent thinking about it instead of saying first and foremost "Yes!"

As far as cohabitation goes, though, I'm not sure that's a good idea. I mean, well, actually, I think it's a wonderful idea. It seems to me that living together should be a prerequisite to marriage, just so you know you can tolerate each other full time. I heard a song once that talked about how being married isn't hard, it's living together that's tough. But the problem with this is that I'm fairly certain my parents would not approve. I don't need my parents' permission before I do things anymore, but it would certainly make life more pleasant for everybody if we all liked each other. I don't want my parents to have anything against Lolo. Is it dumb to put my parents' wishes above my own happiness? I don't know, but it's a concern. Even if moving in together is not at all what Lolo has in mind right now, it may be someday. He said, "I'm just trying to figure out what normal people do now." At six months, this is the longest relationship he's ever been in. I hope he's not scared. I hope I'm not scared.