So it begins...

2003-08-29 - 9:16 p.m.

It recently occurred to me that I let the one year anniversary of my presence here in Diaryland slip by me without even a mention. Well, I've remembered now and I've added another feature to this page in celebration. That feature is my "One Year Ago Today" feature. Yup, just click on it and it'll take you back to what was going on in my life a year ago. Funny thing is, not much has changed. Even in my very first entry what did I talk about? I talked about Stretch, my future job situation, and a funky dream. Sound familiar?

So I was thinking about what brought me to Diaryland in the first place. I met Somnambulist online and at first we really hit it off. I'm afraid my relationship with him, although through the first five months it didn't go beyond typing messages back and forth on the internet, is a bit of a sore spot in my past. I feel really guilty about the whole situation although I'm still torn on whether or not I should. Regardless, he introduced me to his diary here and I liked the idea so much I started up my own. I didn't really expect it to last. I'd had paper journals in the past and I'd never really stuck with them, why would this be different? But then I discovered the Diaryland community and that has kept me here. Thanks to all of you who have given me advice recently and in the past. It is always appreciated.

I've also proclaimed here that this journal is for me and me alone. Reading some recent entries from Flood has made me re-evaluate that position. And I've had to be honest with myself. This journal is not for me alone. Of course I write this differently because I know other people are reading. It feels good when someone leaves a comment in my guestbook or links me in their diary. It feels good when someone lists me as one of their favorite diaries and it feels awesome to know that somewhere out there there are people who find my writing interesting enough to keep coming back. So no, I don't write this not caring what other people think. I write this to be a part of the Diaryland community. I write this to feel a part of something and to feel accepted and to feel good about myself. And that means I'm writing it for me, but not for me alone.

And finally, it has been brought to my attention recently that this journal has been discovered by people who know me. The weird part is how they discovered it. One of my good friends was contacted by e-mail from an anonymous hotmail account. The e-mail read simply: "FYI: http://eucalia.diaryland.com" My friend knew nothing about this diary before, but of course recognized the name "Eucalia" and clicked on the link to find this. She figured that since I hadn't told her about it, I didn't really want her to know about it (God, I love my friends!), and called me to ask about it. Having her know about this diary is not an issue. I trust her completely and there is really not too much here she doesn't know about or I wouldn't want her to know about. The issue is who sent that e-mail? I don't know. I can't even begin to guess. I've never referred to any of my friends my name here and I certainly haven't listed any e-mail addresses. OK, I guess someone has proved the point that they can track down my friends from the information I've provided here. Thank you, point taken. But please, this isn't necessary. You win. No more, please?