What happened to his heart?

2003-09-13 - 9:45 p.m.

Last night I spent a rather large portion of the night pondering which ER is closest to my home. It's not a question I've ever had to consider before and I've never worked at a hospital particularly nearby.

Yesterday evening when my paternal grandfather pulled into our driveway, I went out to meet him. But even before I got outside I could hear that something was not right. From inside my living room I could hear him breathing out in my driveway. It sounded awful. He came in, used the bathroom, and then we sat him outside in the shade with a glass of ice water and asked him how long he'd been breathing that way. He assured us that it started yesterday. There had been a forest fire near his home and perhaps the smoke was getting to him. After sitting for a while his breathing improved tremendously such that I could no longer hear him even while sitting right next to him.

So all was well. My aunt et al arrived and we went out to dinner and everything was fine. But then we went to bed. My grandfather slept on my brother's old bed. All night long he was coughing. Horrible sounding coughs. I wasn't sure what to do. The coughing didn't get worse, but it lasted all night long. He couldn't have gotten much sleep. I sure didn't.

I was up in the morning before my alarm which was set for six. I never heard anymore coughing after I got out of the shower. Everyone got ready for race day. I drove my aunt's boyfriend in my aunt's car and dropped him off at the starting line for the 12k and then met everyone else at the 5k starting line. There was a lot less hoopla at the beginning of the race this year. I took pictures as everyone left and then walked down to the finish line. Practically everyone else at the finish line either had small children with them or a cast on at least one leg. The first guy finished the 5k in 16:16 and he looked like he wasn't even trying. I cheered people on for a while but eventually got a bit bored as I waited and waited for someone related to me to come within view of the finish line. It took forty-six minutes for that to happen. I cheered my aunt and cousin across the finish line and then headed off backwards around the course looking for my parents and my grandfather. They were actually much closer than I expected. They were walking at a fairly decent clip and even better, I couldn't hear my grandfather breathing and he seemed fine.

Then we waited for my aunt's boyfriend to finish the 12k. The finish line for the 12k and the 5k are at the same place. The first guy to finish the 12k did it in 39:39. My aunt's boyfriend finished it about seventeen minutes later.

After each of the races the runners all went by a certain stand to pick up their complimentary T-shirts. After the 5k, the line for the large and extra-large shirts was very long while the line for the small and medium shirts was all but nonexistent. After the 12k race, the lines were reversed. The line for the small and medium shirts was very long while the line for large and extra-large shirts was all but nonexistent. I found that to be amusing, anyway.

My grandfather, by the way, got first place in his age division this year. There was a mix-up, however, somewhere along the line and they failed to announce his name at the award's ceremony. None of the people in charge could figure anything out so after my aunt raised enough of a fuss someone ended up announcing that my grandfather was third place in the 70-74 year-old division. He's 83. Ergh. But he got a medal and Grampa couldn't hear what was announced anyway, so we decided not to push it. However, the results are posted on the internet now and he's in his proper place. Yay, Grampa!

As I've mentioned before, my cousin is 15 and he has Tourette's. Usually, at least when I've been around him, it hasn't been too bad. I could notice tics, but I think people who were unaware of his condition wouldn't notice. But during this visit, his Tourette's was acting up quite a bit. It was a bit disconcerting. And even more disconcerting is how little people understand about it, even in my own family. My aunt's boyfriend is convinced that if my cousin tried at all he could control his tics. And other family members were asking, "Is he aware of what he's doing? Does he know?" Of course he knows! Imagine what it must be like to not have control over your own body. To not be able to sit close to anybody because you never know when you're going to hit them. To not be able to walk in a crowd because you never know when you're going to suddenly stop and take a step backwards instead of forwards. How can you be a teenager under those circumstances? But the thing about my cousin is that he's such a...how do I put this nicely...loser dweeb. Very often I'm not sure where the idiot kid ends and the Tourette's begins. It's so...frustrating.

Flik called me today. I was so glad to hear from her. I haven't heard much at all from her since she went back to school a few weeks ago. The funny thing was, she was mainly calling me for advice. Advice on love. Yeah, that's right, I'm the Love Guru. Poor girl, imagine that I'm the best source of love advice she has. I've only had one relationship that lasted longer than two dates and I managed to flub that one fantastically. She has a man who seems to be very interested in her. He's taken her out twice, (Me: "Did you just go out together or was it a date?" Flik: "What's the difference?" Me: "Um...I don't know..." Yeah, Love Guru.) and they talk on the phone for hours and hours every night, but physically they haven't gone beyond hand-holding. She's said they've come to a mutual agreement that they like each other and he wants to take it further. She really likes him, but she's not so sure, for several reasons. Admittedly, a romantic relationship between them could be complicated. If they were to become a couple, they'd have to keep it pretty secret. I was thinking that when Stretch and I started going out, it wasn't a secret, but we certainly didn't advertise it. At least I didn't. It wasn't because I was embarrassed about it--I would've been quite happy for everyone to know that the kindest and best-looking guy in pharmacy school was my boyfriend--it was just that I've never been one to talk much about my personal life. In fact, three months after I considered Stretch and I to be "official" a couple of girls in my fraternity stopped me in the halls and said, "You and Stretch should totally go out! You'd make such a cute couple!" I just laughed and said, "You think so?" My point is that it might not be super hard to keep a relationship secret from people. Just avoid public displays of affection and don't talk about it. Everything else could just be friendship. I encouraged Flik to go for it. You never know unless you try. I hope that's good advice.