This burn in me

2003-11-12 - 10:56 a.m.

Yesterday evening, for some reason, I was feeling really down. I just wasn't in the mood to write anything. I didn't write an entry here and I didn't write much for my NaNoWriMo. I wrote all of 134 words and ended mid-sentence. And then I stayed up really late for no reason.

So today I'm tired, but at least I'm not feeling quite so down.

Ther termite guys are here. They're installing some sort of bait system to hopefully take care of our termite issues. I found a termite casing in the kitchen a week or so ago and I called the termite guy to get his opinion. I waited half the day for the guy to show up (an hour after the window in which he told me he'd be here), and his assessment was, "Yup, those're termites." Anyway, at that time he scheduled an appointment for more termite guys to come out and install the bait system. After, of course, my mom wrote him a thousand dollar check. I guess it's better than the house falling down around our ears. So today they're installing it. They glued one bait box to the kitchen floor and now they're busy drilling holes around the house to put in more outside.

I finally broke down and bought a couple of review books for the NAPLEX from Amazon. I was thinking at first I wouldn't need them, but I decided I'd rather just spend the money to buy the books than to try to piece together everything I need to know from class notes I took over two years ago. Besides, I was never one for taking notes. I only wrote down the stuff I didn't know already, and back then I think I knew a whole lot more than I do now. So I'll get these books and I will study them and I will pass the test (if my damn authorization to test ever comes) and I will get a job and move. And then I'll be a real person again.

Now that I've thought about it, there were several things making me feel down last night. It's weird--sometimes I can feel sad or angry without consciously realizing why. Then sometimes someone will push me about it and I will break and tell them what's bothering me, even though I didn't realize before spouting off that that's what it was, and suddenly I'll feel better. Yeah, I'm a weirdo.

Anyway, yesterday was my great-grandmother's birthday. She would've been 103, but she passed away rather suddenly two years ago. Is it possible to pass away suddenly when you're 100? Well, yeah. I was in school studying for midterms when I got a phone call saying that my great-grandmother wasn't feeling well--something about a tummy ache--and had gone to the hospital. The next morning I got another phone call saying she had passed away during the night.

Also, last night, my fraternity was playing broomball. That was always my favorite event of the year when I was there. It always takes place from ten to midnight, though, and it's an hour drive from my house. I decided I couldn't make it because I'd be too tired. Also because I'm fat and out of shape and I'd probably drop dead trying to play. I was sad to have missed it. And I was also sad because nobody called to ask if I would come.

And last night I received an e-mail from Azuma. He told me he's decided not to come home for Christmas. Instead he wants to go to Hong Kong.

Good lord, one of the termite guys laughs just like Scooby-Doo.

NaNoWriMo Progress: 15,324/50,000