Tell me you love me and kiss me like you mean it

2006-08-25 - 5:28 a.m.

I ended up telling Lolo yesterday how I was feeling. I was hoping to get over it by myself, but it just wasn't happening. I spent Wednesday night at his place and was somehow sad the whole time. I woke up sad. I moved to his couch in the morning, wrapped up in his blanket, and started reading my book. He followed me out in a few minutes and joined me on the couch. After a little while he said, "You look pensive." So I decided to tell him. I asked first, "Will you stick with me even if I'm silly?" He just looked at me so I plunged onward saying, "When you left Sunday it made me feel very insecure and I haven't gotten over it yet." I kind of said it all in a rush, trying to get the words out before I could start crying. He said he was sorry and put his head on my knees and looked up at me. The whole time I was trying hard not to cry, I'm not sure he's ever seen me quite so desperately on the verge of tears. Eventually he wrapped his arms around me and said, "I love you." It was like a magic potion. Poof, I was better. Well, it took a few minutes, but the effect was amazing. It felt so good. He held me for a while more and at one point I added, "I worry that I'm too clingy." He just said, "Stop."

I spent the rest of the day with him at his place, working on finalizing plans for England. We both tend to be procrastinators so we haven't quite finished up making all our reservations yet. Almost, now, though.

Later I met his friend, who, it turns out, is not a friend from college as I had said before, but a friend of a friend from college. Apparently she and Butiki went to high school together in the Seattle area. She lives in DC now and is here visiting. She seemed very nice, but oddly enough, Lolo doesn't seem to like her all that much. He described her as superficial. So I guess this one's not likely to be a major player in my life.

Spent the night last night at Lolo's place too. Very pleasant. Now he's just about out of the shower and I'd better finish up getting ready for work.