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Diaryland


Singing like he knows the score

2005-09-01 - 10:54 p.m.

Today didn't start out too badly. I mean, I didn't get to bed last night until after 1am and then this morning I was wide awake before 6am, but other than that, it was fine. Since I was awake, I got myself out of bed and ran around Green Lake a couple of times. I had no energy though. I went very slowly. It's interesting because all the rest of this week I've been posting some pretty awesome times (for me), then today was crap. But I did it, which is the most important part, I think. Anyway, I came home from that and then ran some errands downtown. You know those shoes I bought from REI on Saturday? Remember how they're red and I thought perhaps I was totally insane for buying red shoes? Well, I've changed my mind--I love those shoes! Besides, they're not really red, they're manzanita. Plus they're totally comfortable. Unfortunately they've given me one heck of a blister on the back of my right heel. So after running those errands I came home, ate lunch, and sat myself down on the couch and started reading HP5. I was there for maybe half an hour when all of a sudden I felt something lurch inside me. I leaped off the couch and ran for the bathroom but I wasn't able to make it the 20 or so feet there before being violently ill. It was disgusting and such a surprise! I wasn't feeling bad at all before and I hadn't eaten anything even remotely unusual. I don't know what the deal was. Anyway, after cleaning up the mess I'd made it happened again, although at least this time I made it to the bathroom in time. And after that I started feeling bad. Isn't that weird? It happened twice more and then there was basically nothing left inside me so it stopped, although I still felt horrible. But I went to work anyway, and I'm slowly starting to feel better. But what the heck happened? Man, I'm glad that happened before work and not during!

And then there's Lolo. The whole situation is so...annoying/confusing/exciting, I don't know what to think. Nothing has changed. Except...I don't know, it feels so stupid because I still don't know what he wants. How can I say I feel like he's trying to hide our relationship when we don't even have a relationship and I don't even know if he wants a relationship? At work we pretend like nothing's changed. Or at least I pretend like nothing's changed. Maybe he's not pretending. But we still exchange e-mails quite frequently and I don't see why we can't publicly at least be friends, you know? What's wrong with that?

So we've been planning a hiking trip for this weekend. The only problem is that the forecast for this weekend isn't looking very promising. It's looking as though it may rain on us. In his most recent e-mail to me Lolo wrote, "Any idea on a backup plan in case things get rained out?... (as looks like might happen)... " But...wait, if we're only hiking buddies, wouldn't we just postpone or cancel the hiking trip? What sort of backup plan might I have? What am I supposed to suggest here? Dinner and a movie? Seriously now.

One Good Thing: I made it twice around the lake
Song of the Day: Much Too Young (To Feel This Damn Old) - Garth Brooks
One Year Ago Today: The constant cold drip of common sense

8 weeks, 3 days
2012-04-05
8 weeks, 1 day
2012-04-03
6 weeks, 4 days
2012-03-23
6 weeks, 2 days
2012-03-21
5 weeks, 6 days
2012-03-18

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