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Singing like he knows the score 2005-09-01 - 10:54 p.m.
Today didn't start out too badly. I mean, I didn't get to bed last
night until after 1am and then this morning I was wide awake before 6am,
but other than that, it was fine. Since I was awake, I got myself out
of bed and ran around Green Lake a couple of times. I had no energy
though. I went very slowly. It's interesting because all the rest of
this week I've been posting some pretty awesome times (for me), then
today was crap. But I did it, which is the most important part, I
think. Anyway, I came home from that and then ran some errands
downtown. You know those shoes I bought from REI on Saturday? Remember
how they're red and I thought perhaps I was totally insane for buying
red shoes? Well, I've changed my mind--I love those shoes! Besides,
they're not really red, they're manzanita. Plus they're totally
comfortable. Unfortunately they've given me one heck of a blister on
the back of my right heel. So after running those errands I came home, ate
lunch, and sat myself down on the couch and started reading HP5. I was
there for maybe half an hour when all of a sudden I felt something lurch
inside me. I leaped off the couch and ran for the bathroom but I wasn't
able to make it the 20 or so feet there before being violently ill. It was
disgusting and such a surprise! I wasn't feeling bad at all before and
I hadn't eaten anything even remotely unusual. I don't know what the
deal was. Anyway, after cleaning up the mess I'd made it happened
again, although at least this time I made it to the bathroom in time.
And after that I started feeling bad. Isn't that weird? It happened
twice more and then there was basically nothing left inside me so it
stopped, although I still felt horrible. But I went to work anyway, and
I'm slowly starting to feel better. But what the heck happened? Man,
I'm glad that happened before work and not during!
And then there's Lolo. The whole situation is
so...annoying/confusing/exciting, I don't know what to think. Nothing
has changed. Except...I don't know, it feels so stupid because I still
don't know what he wants. How can I say I feel like he's trying to hide
our relationship when we don't even have a relationship and I don't even
know if he wants a relationship? At work we pretend like
nothing's changed. Or at least I pretend like nothing's changed.
Maybe he's not pretending. But we still exchange e-mails quite
frequently and I don't see why we can't publicly at least be
friends, you know? What's wrong with that?
So we've been planning a hiking trip for this weekend. The only
problem is that the forecast for this weekend isn't looking very
promising. It's looking as though it may rain on us. In his most
recent e-mail to me Lolo wrote, "Any idea on a backup plan in case
things get rained out?... (as looks like might happen)... " But...wait,
if we're only hiking buddies, wouldn't we just postpone or cancel the
hiking trip? What sort of backup plan might I have? What am I supposed
to suggest here? Dinner and a movie? Seriously now.
One Good Thing: I made it twice around the lake 8 weeks, 3 days |