These must be your stubby fingers

2005-09-03 - 7:26 p.m.

I wrote yesterday's entry during my dinner break. When I went back to work I was told that Lolo had gone home sick. I was really worried about him because he hadn't reacted so well to giving blood earlier in the day. Plus we were supposed to go hiking today and I doubted he would be up to that if he was going home sick. Since he was gone, though, it was really busy so I didn't have a chance to send him an e-mail for a couple of hours. He must've gotten it right away, though, because he called me back at work letting me know he was having tummy issues from all the weird fluids they made him drink when he was feeling woozy and he was still definitely up for our hike today. I was so glad he called. Surprised he did, though.

So after work I didn't get to bed until a little after 1am and then I was up at 4:30 to get ready for today. Lolo picked me up at my place and drove us the two and a half hours north towards Mt. Baker. We hiked to a little lake called Lake Ann. We were both dragging a bit since donating blood yesterday. The weather wasn't super good, but at least it didn't rain much more than a few sprinkles.

When we got to the lake we found a big flat rock and I said, "This looks like a good stargazing rock." He agreed and layed down on it. I sat down next to him and then decided to just go for it and layed down next to him so we were side by side on our backs. He was using his jacket as a pillow, but I was cold so I didn't want to take mine off. After a bit he looked over and realized I had no pillow so he got up and got something from his bag to use as a pillow while he let me use his jacket. And when he layed back down he was closer than he had been before. We layed there like that for quite a while, talking occasionally but mostly dozing a bit. I had been trying to keep my hand on his side free (and look natural about it), should he want to hold it, but nothing was happening. But then he put his hand down near mine and I scooted mine over so it was just barely touching his. At first nothing happened, but then I felt him put just the tiniest bit of pressure on my hand. I didn't move, I was just silently rooting him on. Finally he said, "These must be your stubby fingers," and took ahold of my hand. (FYI: "stubbyfingers" is part of the e-mail address I use with him) I was so happy I could hardly breathe. I laughed and said, "Yeah," and held onto his hand. We just lay there like that, side by side flat on our backs holding hands for quite a while.

Unfortunately, it was cold. I was shivering and he was cold, too. We sat up and started talking about other stuff and somehow managed to pretend like the handholding thing hadn't just happened. We ate lunch and then decided we'd probably better get going. I pulled out my camera to take a few pictures so he pulled out his too and he asked me to pose for one. When he was done I asked if he would mind if I tried to take one of both of us, using the camera at arm's length method. He put his arm around me and we put our heads together--that was enough to make the whole picture worth while.

Lake Ann, the most wonderful place in the world ;-)

But now...what's the next step? Where do we go from here? I know what I want (everything!), but how do I get there from here?