The deep breath before the plunge

2005-09-04 - 9:58 p.m.

This morning I slept in until a little past 10 then got up and checked my e-mail. Nothing there from Lolo. I was feeling a little uncomfortable about us because of yesterday's hand holding thing followed by very little actual acknowledgement of it. So I sent him an e-mail including a picture I had taken of the two of us (I keep looking at this picture and every time I do my heart does this funny leaping thing in my chest) and asked if he'd be willing to go out and grab lunch or dinner or something. Of course if I was a reasonable person I would have called him with that request, but I'm not and I didn't.

So I worked all day on cleaning my apartment. Yup, you guessed it, it looks worse than when I started. Except my laundry is all done and my shower is clean. I usually take a shower first thing in the morning before I put my contacts in and I swear it looks fine then. But I took a shower yesterday with my contacts in and was totally grossed out by it. So I got out a scrub brush and the 409 and went to work. Much better now! I also decided that I'd like to clear out some space in my apartment so I can put more stuff away. So I pulled out four boxes of stuff (mostly clothes) that I've hardly touched since moving here nine and a half months ago. I thought that if I haven't touched it, and I haven't missed it, then I don't need it and I can throw it away. I emptied these boxes and now the contents are strewn about my room. I haven't brought myself to throw any of it away yet. I gave up frustratedly and went to read a bit more Harry Potter on my couch when Lolo called me. We decided on dinner, immediately.

He came and picked me up and drove me a few blocks away to a Mexican restaurant. We ate and chatted and had a good time. We were able to discuss a bit more of our relationship and I feel much better about the whole thing. We stayed and talked for quite a while. On the way back to his car he took my hand again. He smiled and said, "Next time I'm going to make you do it." I thought that was so cute. We held hands all the way back to my place.

So that's it. More hand holding, but also much more talking about important stuff. I'm excited and happy and nervous. Did I mention that I really like this guy?