Like an intestinal blockage

2003-01-17 - 9:19 a.m.

I've been sitting here, chewing mercilessly on my lip, trying to decide what to write about. Trying to decide whether or not to join in the fray. Whether or not to make my opinion on this matter public. Last night I read something that made me very angry. And then after that I read two more things that made me angry. I don't like to feel angry. I don't like to argue. But things are getting out of hand.

Recently I haven't been feeling well and I've been sleeping early. Not including a short one just before I went to bed last night I haven't had a single instant messenger conversation since...I guess Tuesday. Last night I finally caught up with reading the journals on my favorites list. I was shocked, angered, and hurt by what I saw there. I have to admit, I don't know the whole story. The argument began before I came along. And I have to tell you, I don't care about the whole story, so don't even tell me. What I found to be hurtful was here (the bottom of paragraph three) and here (paragraph four). Am I the only one who finds these statements to be incredibly offensive? Am I overreacting to this? If, readers, I am overreacting to this, please let me know, but in the mean time, I'm pissed. Pissed that someone has the audacity to suggest and clearly to believe that I am incapable of forming my own opinions. To suggest that I cannot make up my own mind. To suggest I cannot "communicate" with whomever I please. But let's put that aside for a moment.

When someone slams their head repeatedly into a brick wall, it's hard to give them sympathy for the ensuing headache. Somn, when you demanded a reason why I didn't see us having a future together, do you remember what I said? You may recall I didn't site your sunny disposition or unswervingly positive attitude. No one ever said life is fair. In fact just about anyone will tell you this world is a cruel one. No one is going to give you anything for free. You don't "deserve" anything. If you're going to get by in this world, you have to make people want to help you. You have to learn to play the game. Telling everyone they're a bunch of fuckers you can't tell apart is not going to accomplish anything. You may be surprised how far a smile and an accepting attitude will get you.

And as for the advice to "get over it," I maintain that it is sound. Getting over it does not mean being happy about it. Getting over it means moving on. It means living your life in spite of things. Get over it. This is getting embarrassing.