Climbing the smoke stack

2003-01-27 - 9:53 a.m.

God, I feel shitty today.

I wrote a very brief entry yesterday in Notepad figuring I'd come back later and write something more substantial. I never had the chance, though, and now that's on my computer at home and I'm here in the hospital library. Oh well.

Yesterday was, of course, the Super Bowl. I went out to Slick's place. By the time I got there Fluffy was already there. Thumbtack didn't come. I suppose I'll never see Thumbtack again. I miss him already. Fluffy and Slick are much more ambitious than I am. We turned on the game, ate junk food, and played Trivial Pursuit. I really suck at that game. Which is no surprise. I'm smart as a whip but I've got a memory you can drain spaghetti with. There was one category I could get right every time, two I could get right sometimes, and three I didn't have a chance in. We were actually playing a version that only asked questions regarding things between 1981 and 2001 which really didn't make things any easier for me. Ah well, I thought I was going to lose with no pie pieces, but I ended up getting two. Yay me. Julep won easily and Slick was a close second. Fluffy and I each had two pieces. We were all rooting for the Bucs, but it got pretty boring pretty quickly. It seemed like every time I looked up the Bucs were getting another touchdown. There are a lot of unhappy folks around these parts today, what with the Raiders losing to the Bucs and the Kings losing to the Raptors. Did anyone else find it funny that they used the the theme from "Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron" as the theme for the Super Bowl? I told you it had a cool sound track!

Rounds started this morning at 5:30 again. We have all new med students. Too bad, I liked the old ones. Oh well, these are nice too. When the attending came she introduced herself to me as if we had never met before. It's nice to know I'm that memorable.

I worked up all my TPN patients pretty quickly this morning. Milkshake is back from San Antonio and I ran into him up on East 8. He was in a bad mood, too. He grumbled and I moped and we got through it. He was annoyed by something I did last week which I don't believe I mentioned here. But mostly he was in too bad of a mood to want to deal with it at the moment and I gave him a very brief summary of why I did what I did and he just let it go.

I woke up this morning completely nauseated. And crampy and depressed. After rounds I took 400mg of ibuprofen and the cramps have resolved, but I'm still nauseated (actually a bit worse because of the IBU) and still depressed. I feel like crying and I can't think of any reason for it. Other than life sucking. Which it doesn't, I just feel like it does.

I've been thinking about Stretch a lot lately. Which pisses me off because I don't want to think about him. I was unhappy with him. And yet thinking back right now only the good parts come to the surface. I have to dig to remember the bad parts. And I wonder if I broke up with him for the wrong reasons. But NO, I didn't. I was unhappy. I keep reminding myself that. I was unhappy. Euc, kiddo, you did the right thing. You had to do it. You did. It'll get better. You did the right thing.

I need a hug.

**********

After writing the previous bit of my entry, I really didn�t feel like actually doing anything productive so I sat there and read through other journals. And then I was feeling better. I suddenly realized I was no longer nauseated and, although not exactly at the top of my game, I�m not feeling the need to sit in a corner and cry.

One of the journals I read, MollyX, mentioned a church marquee in the Tampa Bay area which read, �See Tampa? We told you there is a God. Go bucs!� I found that to be pretty amusing, �Jesus loves football.� Another one, Aliblogs, wrote �I don't wanna have a boyfriend whom I'm not in love with.� The girl may only be 16, but she has a point. Forget Stretch.

I ate lunch with Thumbtack today. And here I thought I would never see him again. Am I a dork or what? Ha ha, oh well. I walked into administration and went around the corner to where our desk is and there he was. I was so surprised I just stood there looking at him. I swear I have no social prowess whatsoever. Then Slick showed up to meet me for lunch and she saw Thumbtack and said, �Oh Thumbtack! I didn�t expect to see you here! Would you like to have lunch with us?� While I was thinking that that was exactly what I should�ve said. Do they give lessons on how to not be a complete loser? A class at the local community college, perhaps? I should look into that.

Oh! I just remembered today is the 27th. My library books are due today. I always forget to renew my library books. I can�t renew them now because I don�t have my library card with me. My library ought to give people user names and passwords instead of making us use our thirty-digit library card number and a PIN. I guess I�m just lucky that they actually got the online system up and running so I don�t have to swing by the library.

Speaking of library books, the library book sale is coming up in two weeks. I love those sales. People donate books and then the library has a quarterly sale. They sell most of them for twenty-five cents. It�s great. And everybody goes in with bags and loads up. They usually have them sorted by genre. I spend most of my time in the sci-fi/fantasy section, which is actually the calm section. Over in the romance section it gets pretty rowdy sometimes. Those old ladies start throwing elbows and you�d better watch out. I�m such a book freak. I don�t even have time to read and I still go crazy over these sales and I still go to the library to see what�s new. I still pore over the postings at Swappingtons just to make sure that no one has posted something that I just have to have. Speaking of which, there are three books somewhere in this world which are supposedly en route to me from Swappingtons members. I�m beginning to wonder if they will ever get here. The most recent one is being sent out today. But the others didn�t give dates. One said she was sending it on the 22nd and the other on the 20th. Well, I guess it hasn�t been that long. I can be patient. I just read the journal of the girl who�s supposed to be sending the one from the 20th. Her most recent entry was written tomorrow (impressive!) and it doesn�t sound like she�s sent anything out yet. Oh, and look, I just joined the Swappingtons diaryring!