From this way too

2003-12-13 - 10:02 p.m.

I'm feeling not-right tonight. I don't really know how to describe it. I'm not sad. I'm not angry. I am feeling sick, both congested and a tummy ache, but that's not the issue either. I just feel...annoyed. Things aren't right. Do you ever feel this way?

I've been sitting here trying to figure out what exactly isn't right. It seems like my life is too easy. I know, I know, don't listen to me, I'm feeling weird, but let me ramble anyway. My life is unchallenging. Sure, I've got debt coming out my ears, and I can't buy that cool top of the line digital camera or slick truck I want, but I have no trouble covering my day to day expenses or my monthly bills. And relationships? I don't have any issues with any relationships I'm in. That could be because I'm not in any relationships. Yeah, I go and end those the first chance I get. Not true, but still. Problems with my job? Nah, haven't got any. I'm in a new place every day practically so any problems that arise last for a few hours tops. If they last longer than that, someone else inherits them, not me. And if I screw something up? I'm just the relief pharmacist, I don't know any better. My life is unchallenging because I don't challenge myself. I don't even exercise. Last year at this time I was running four miles a day. Now I wonder if I could even run a mile. And I haven't taken that test yet. I'm supposed to take it before the end of the year. The end of the year is fast approaching. I'm so pathetic.

But anyway...following a link from Scattered, I found a website in which kids can rate their teachers. Yeah, really. So of course I went and checked it out. Turns out that the kids at my high school love the teachers there. I swear 90% of the teachers got smiley faces wearing sunglasses (a sign that the teacher is "popular"). Even teachers everyone hated when I was in school got good ratings. What's the deal? Principal spraying narcotics around campus leading to this general state of euphoria among the student body? Of course after looking up my high school, the next logical step was to look up my dad, who is a teacher. Only two kids have rated him. One loved him and didn't leave any comments. The other hated him and said, "Two words: anger management." That cracked me up because my dad is all about putting on a show. Making a big deal out of everything is his way of keeping the kids' attention.

Last night I went with my parents to see the Sacramento Ballet put on "The Nutcracker." We had nosebleed seats, but it was still good. Actually, I almost think it's better from there because up close you can see all the dancers' make up and it always seems like they're wearing way too much. My favorite dancer was the Sugar Plum Fairy's boyfriend. I forgot what he's really called. But that guy could dance! And he didn't look too bad in his white leotard either. I also liked the guy who danced the Russian bit. Lucky him, he got to wear baggy pants. I was a little shocked, when looking through the binoculars, to discover that the Gingerbread Mother was actually a man, but this time it didn't bother me that she/he had little kids come running out from under her/his skirt. I did, however, find it rather disturbing that the little kids who ran out from under the skirt were themselves wearing skirts and when they did cartwheels the whole world could see they were wearing skin colored undies making them look awfully undiless. On second thought, though, maybe those were supposed to be gingerbread colored undies. Hmmm... And why did the mice have such big butts this year? My dad said, "It's the cheese..." Anyway...the music, of course, was great. They had a synthesizer instead of a harp and I think the chimes must've been pre-recorded because both the synthesizer player and the percussionist were sipping their coffee while the chimes were playing, but other than that, the orchestra was cool. And the sets! The sets were totally awesome. They were brand new this year and they rocked. I'm glad I went. It was a lot of fun.