And still they sing

2004-06-11 - 9:39 p.m.

I've decided that when I move out of this house, I'm not taking any trinkets with me. That's right, if I ever get my own home it will be a knickknack-free zone. I can't believe how much crap I have in my room right now. I want to just toss it all, but I can't because someone gave it to me. What's up with that? From now on I'd like only gifts with utility. If it doesn't have a purpose other than to take up space and collect dust, I will feel no obligation to keep it. Out it goes. If friends of mine happen to go to Switzerland, they will kindly send only a postcard and refrain from buying marzipan hedgehogs that are "too cute to eat." What am I supposed to do with a marzipan hedgehog? Damn, I was going to eat it until she said that.

OK, so I threw out a bit of junk from my room today. Not much, though, just a bit. Most of it I felt obligated to keep, as I've said. Moving is a great excuse to throw everything away, don't you think? When I move I'm going to take 20 boxes of books and that's it. Ha ha! OK, maybe a few other things. Like all my kitchen stuff which is still in boxes from my apartment days. I wonder what will happen to my furniture which has all been assimilated into my parents' home? I think I'll just leave it and sit on the floor. My nice clean uncluttered floor. If I passed my tests, that is. And then if I ever manage to get a job.

I was inspired to clean today for the same reason I'm usually inspired to clean--I was looking for something. I was looking for my fraternity nametag and pin. Did I find them? No. I thought I knew where they were too. They were probably there two years ago or something. Remember those blank checks I was looking for? I never did find those. But I was looking for my fraternity stuff because I might possibly go hang out with my old fraternity tomorrow after the wedding. I'm starting to get cold feet about it, though. I mean, I only know like two people who are in it anymore and the rest are new since I graduated. But when I was an active member I always said that I'd be an active alumni. Since I graduated I've been to two fraternity events, the most recent of those was last May. Will I go tomorrow or will I chicken out? I'm such a loser.

I took the law portion of the exam today. I'm fairly sure I passed this one. I'd give myself 80% chance of passing, which is basically the opposite of Tuesday's test on which I gave myself an 80% chance of failing. Nothing to do now but wait and see. And spiff up my CV and write a cover letter just in case I'm going to be needing them soon. I haven't quite figured out what to do with that big hole in my CV between January and June, though. I guess there really isn't anything I can do about it. Think of some crap story to tell during interviews to smooth it over, I guess. Ack, though, I can't let myself get too excited about this because then for sure I'll fail the exams.

Oh, on a completely random note, I saw the hottest guy today. Well, not hot hot like People Magazine hot, but he was totally my type. I was on my way out of the gym this morning after step class and he was just coming in. When I saw him I felt like one of those cartoon characters when their eyes stretch several feet out of their heads, their hearts beat out of their chests, and their tongues hit the floor. Of course externally I was completely calm. I actually smiled at him as we walked by each other. He didn't smile back. Oh well. There's the extent of my love life these days. These days? Who'm I kidding? These years! Ack again!

Speaking of my love life...do any of you remember a certain letter I received back in January? If you don't, just play along with me, ok? The letter came with my pharmacy law textbook and I just left it in there. Of course in the past few days I've been studying pharmacy law so I got out that book again. I left the letter in there untouched, and just sort of studied around it, but this morning I finally decided to give it another read through. You know, when I got that letter it seemed so hurtful and offensive. When I read it this morning, though, it just seemed like the silliest thing ever. Isn't it funny the way time tends to change tears into laughter and laughter into tears?

Um, yeah, so after taking the exam this afternoon I came home, grabbed a book, sat out in the backyard and read 120 pages. It was delightful. I haven't done any free reading in ages. OK, so I read the third Harry Potter book when I was in LA, but since then my reading has been very sporadic and this week I haven't read at all. I'm feeling pretty guilty because this book I'm in the middle of now plus another book that I'm planning on reading next are both bookring books from BookCrossing. Yes, these bookrings are very informal, but still, I've had these books for over a month and I haven't sent them on yet. I'm being a book hog. I should have reading time now, though, so I can get them passed along soon.