I go up and I go down

2004-12-19 - 7:54 p.m.

Well, hmm, my internet connection doesn't seem to be working at the moment. I don't know what the problem is, but I'll write an entry now anyway, in hopes that I'll be able to post it later.

So, last night I sat around waiting for the singer to call me. I went to bed at midnight, but left my phone on because I wanted to know if he called. I was immediately unconscious. He did call, though. He called at 12:15. I was surprised it was so early because I felt as though I'd been asleep a long time. I didn't answer it, I let him leave a message. In retrospect I'm thinking I should've answered it, but I didn't. He said that he had just finished packing up after his show and he was just about to get on the ferry to come back to Seattle, he'd probably be near downtown around 1. I rolled over and went back to sleep.

In the morning I didn't call him back. Partly because I didn't know what time he would be awake (I was awake at 5 because my body doesn't seem to want to let me sleep in) and partly because I thought he would be taking off to drive down to California early. I went out this morning and did some Christmas shopping. I was feeling very sour about the whole thing. I was out for quite some time and only bought one thing and finally decided to just go home and mope there. At 10:45 when I was nearly home, my cell phone rang. It was him. He offered to come by my place. I suggested meeting somewhere. We ended up going to a small cafe for breakfast.

I was immediately happy. I arrived before he did, bought myself a latte, and procured a table for us. When he came in he called my name and as I stood up he pulled me in and hugged me. With his hands rubbing my back. OK, so, you know, I'm actually a very conservative person when it comes to...uh, relationships, I guess you could say. I'm a very slow mover and I tend to expect the same from others in return. And when people try to get ahead of where I think we are, physically, I find that to be a major turn off. I thought the hug was possibly within range because of the whole connection thing we were feeling over the music (although if left to me there wouldn't have been a hug) but the rubbing my back thing left me wondering what the hell he was up to.

So then he gave me another copy of his CD, ordered breakfast, and we sat and talked. It felt to me like we talked for maybe ten minutes, but when he said he had to get going, an hour had already gone by. I really enjoyed talking with him. Listening to him talk. What a voice. And those eyes. And the man got a PhD from Caltech. And he writes and sings songs for a living. Wow.

When we said goodbye he hugged me again. Again with the back rubbing thing too. And he also kissed my cheek. Would he really have kissed me on the lips if I hadn't turned my head? Maybe I'm crazy, but that weirds me out a bit. Is he like that with all the girls he meets? He seemed very comfortable with it.

At any rate, he really is gone now. He's touring down to California next and then through Arizona and New Mexico before coming back to Seattle in April.

After seeing him I went out and did some more Christmas shopping. If my internet was working now I'd probably also be finishing up the last bits of shopping at Amazon as I type this. So I'm almost done. It's a good thing since Christmas is less than a week away. I went to Bon Macy's to buy my mom something. I did, but I also bought myself a new pair of jeans and two new shirts. While I was in the dressing room, Duke called. We set up a time to meet for dinner. We went to a little Italian place in Ballard called The Sopranos. It was really good and I really liked the bright atmosphere in the restaurant. He bought me dinner as a Christmas present and I gave him the just-in-case present I'd bought for him (just in case he gets me a present). We had fun. We hugged when he dropped me off (no back rubbing involved). It looks as though we won't be seeing each other again until after the new year.