My first email entry

2005-10-29 - 14:54

I'm at work, so I thought I'd give the "add an entry via e-mail" feature a try. My biggest issue here is a lack of privacy, but at least if I'm adding via e-mail I don't actually have to log into D-land.

This morning I hopped on the scale as I've been doing every morning for the past couple months and I was absolutely shocked by the number it gave me. Shocked and embarrassed. Oh my god, what am I doing to myself? Since I started going out with Lolo I've gained ten pounds. Seriously. This is bad. I'm a fucking cow. A lot of it, though, I gained this past week. For starters, last weekend I wore my new running shoes on a 15-mile run and totally killed my feet. Badly enough that I could barely walk afterwards and was limping for a few days. So I haven't run at all this week. And then I had eating issues. This is partially because I've been experimenting with recipes that I might one day cook for Lolo. But mostly I've just been overeating. And now I'm huge. How embarrassing. I want to just hide and never show myself until I've lost at least five pounds. I feel like I'm letting Lolo down. My one consolation is that he isn't exactly a skinny boy himself (not that he's remotely fat or anything), and I'm not that huge. Last time we were naked together he said to me, "You're so lean it's embarrassing." Well, if we happen to be naked together tomorrow (which I'm hoping we will), he certainly won't be making any comments along those lines.