Until your candle burned my skin

2005-10-08 - 7:24 a.m.

I'm up a bit on the early side this morning. It's only early because I have work until midnight tonight--otherwise I wouldn't consider it early at all. I had such a funny dream last night, though. I mean, it's just the cheesiest thing ever. I woke up laughing at myself that I would've dreamed such a thing. I was dreaming that all of the employees of my pharmacy department were together playing indoor soccer just for fun. It was like PE in the old days of high school--no organization, just masses of people running around kicking the ball and having a good time. I won't go into too many details, but at one point Lolo got hit in the face really hard with the ball. Hard enough to knock him unconscious. Of course I was worried but I couldn't show it much because of keeping our relationship a secret from our co-workers. But then he started to wake up and as he did so he was babbling a bit--suddenly I was worried (and secretly hoping) that he would mention me. He didn't though. He got up and the game went on. Later, as the game was drawing to a close, the score was tied so the intensity level went up just a tad. Here comes the head of the whole pharmacy department dribbling the ball towards me. So I go running towards him to steal the ball and just as I get close he kicks it for all he's worth, point blank into my face. Ow! I didn't lose consciousness but it hurt and knocked me a little coocoo. People kept asking me if I was ok and I kept saying I was, but I hadn't picked myself up off the ground or even opened my eyes yet because my head was still spinning. I finally opened my eyes and there was Lolo showing much more concern for me than I had shown for him. I was feeling less dizzy so I stood up and just then the ball went rolling by so I ran over and kicked it hard towards the opposite goal. It went right in and my team won the game. Suddenly I was being picked up and carried around on the shoulders of a bunch of my pharmacist teammates. I was feeling like I should protest and make them put me down, but on the other hand I was totally enjoying it. And then I realized I had no pants on--there was my big butt at everyone's eye level clad in nothing but undies. And then I woke up laughing.

Anyway, so I got out of bed and grabbed myself some breakfast. This morning I will go running as soon as my breakfast has a little time to digest. It's been a while since I've gone. Last time I went was Wednesday of last week. I was happy with myself then because it was only three days after the race and usually it takes me a while to get back into the running thing after a race. But then I let it go again. It's getting harder to find time for running, though, because daylight hours are getting so much shorter. And also because I've been trying to spend all my spare time with Lolo. I definitely need to make running more of a priority. I have one week to decide whether or not to sign up for the Seattle Marathon before prices go up. I still don't know about that. We'll see how things go this morning. I'm planning on running over to the locks and back.

Yesterday I worked tele again. It totally wore me out. It seemed as though I spent all day teaching. One of our residents is doing a tele rotation right now and while I'm not her preceptor (thank goodness), I was still in charge of teaching her in the morning. We had grand rounds in the morning, though, so that took away a little time. Also our CCU pharmacist called in sick again yesterday so Miko had one of our per diem pharmacists who was scheduled to work the 0700 shift go up and work CCU instead. Apparently she used to be an amazing clinical pharmacist, but then she went per diem years ago when she had her first kid so she's very out of practice. The fact that she's willing to work up there on no notice is pretty impressive, but she asks millions of endless questions. I kept getting pages from her all day. I'm not yet CCU trained (that's coming in November) so there was a lot of procedural stuff I couldn't answer for her. Anyway, at one point I found myself attending a serious code in the CCU with this per diem pharmacist (who at least knew the clinical side of running a code even though she had no idea of the procedural stuff), the pharmacy resident, and our newest hire pharmacist who graduated in May and is still being code trained. There I was trying to pay attention to what was going on in the code to make sure that (most importantly) all the proper drugs and equipment were promptly handed over, make sure that the new pharmacist who was scribing didn't miss anything (I think she missed everything--I had to repeat everything that was going on for her), and that the resident wasn't feeling completely left out of the loop. It was hectic!

Then Kitten went home sick. She was working EOR which usually comes down to the main pharmacy to cover while the evening shifts have their dinner breaks. I was tired, but I offered to stay extra to cover dinner breaks anyway because I can always use the overtime and I had a feeling I wasn't going to do anything but plop myself down on the couch when I got home anyway. It just so happened, though, that Lolo was lead last night. So I had to ask him if he wanted me to stay--which is most decidedly not ignoring him as per usual. And wouldn't you know it, he was looking particularly hot yesterday. So I walked up to him and started asking--he looked very surprised that I was talking to him--it was so cute. Meanwhile I was trying very hard to keep a relatively straight face and not reach out and touch him, and also hoping that I didn't look nearly as tired as I felt. He told me no, he didn't think I needed to stay, but I think he said it without really thinking about it. I mean, I think he was thinking of me being tired and not his shift needing extra coverage. Anyway, I didn't argue. I went home and looked in the mirror and discovered that I did indeed look just about as tired as I felt. Ugh.

I sat around at home after work doing nothing. I finally started to perk up maybe three hours later. I took my car down to get gas and went to the grocery store. Unfortunately, I was in one of my polyphagic moods last night. I should never ever go grocery shopping when I'm feeling that way. I should take a tranquilizer or something and just sleep until the mood passes. It's so bad. I wonder why I get that way. I did lots and lots of laundry--it's been a while, I found clothes in the bottom of my hamper that I'd forgotten I own--and read most of my book. I'm reading "Alfie" by Bill Naughton. I don't know why I chose to read it. I haven't seen any version of the movie and honestly I didn't expect to like it. But I'm actually quite enjoying it. I'm glad because I didn't enjoy the last two books I read much at all.

Ok, I'm off to get ready for that run!