Who am I to think I can go it alone?

2005-10-25 - 6:56 p.m.

Today Lolo and I had coinciding lunch breaks so he brought Thai food over to my place for us. We ate and then cuddled and made out for the rest of the time. It was so hard to go back to work after that. It's funny, somehow I kept having the feeling that people at work could tell what I had been up to during my lunch break just by looking at me.

Recently I've been feeling a bit like Lolo is pulling away from me. Now that I actually think about it, I guess this isn't a new thing. I've always had this bit of paranoia that he's leaving me, haven't I? So I sat down with myself and had a good think about it. My conclusion, of course, is that he is not leaving me. At least it's not in his immediate plans.

Did I ever mention here that I was going to tell Kitten about Lolo and I? I ended up never actually having the gumption to do it. Instead, last week Lolo asked me if I would mind if he did it. He actually sought her out and told her. A boy doesn't do this if he isn't at least moderately serious, does he?

And this one just occurred to me a few moments ago--on the way back to work after lunch today he asked me if I'd like to go see The Nutcracker ballet with him. Of course that's not until December and it's October now...so that's a bit long-term.

And today he also told me that he didn't realize I had yesterday off. I didn't think I could respond to that without displaying how hurt I had felt when he had cut our night short the night before so I just gave a disinterested sounding "Oh?" and moved on. But that would explain it.