Or a woman if you are one

2005-12-28 - 12:20 p.m.

I survived my first doctor's appointment this morning. Actually, it wasn't nearly as unpleasant as I expected it to be.

The person who roomed me originally was very nice, but I couldn't figure out if it was a man or a woman (it's funny how this is bothersome, isn't it? who cares, really?). I had just decided it was a long-haired man, probably of Native American descent, when I read her nametag and saw that she was "Sharon." Anyway, she was very nice and took my weight (162 fully clothed, bleah), my height (5'10" and 4 hairs), my blood pressure (106/78), and my medical history. Then she left me alone with a gown and told me I should have nothing but my birthday suit on underneath.

The doctor came in and he was very nice, too. We discussed more of my medical history and then we discussed birth control pills. He says that current thought has it that modern bcp's don't increase the risk of breast cancer and are probably protective against other forms of cancer. That was nice to hear. He basically let me pick out which bcp I wanted and then wrote a scrip for it. I ended up with Kariva, because of all the ones that my insurance covers, I read the most good things about it. We'll see how that goes.

Then he started with the exam. He looked in my ears, my mouth, and my nose and listened to my heart and my lungs. He brought in another female employee while he did the breast exam and the PAP smear and pelvic exam. I was surprised that this wasn't unpleasant. I mean, other than the indignity of being garbed in a hospital gown and laying on a table with my feet in stirrups while some complete stranger stuck foreign objects into my vagina, it wasn't unpleasant at all. I didn't even feel it when he did the PAP smear. You'll be glad to know that I'm physically normal.

Afterwards I had him look at some moles on my back. He said they don't look too bad, but he gave me a dermatology referral anyway. And I had him get out the liquid nitrogen and burn off my warts. That didn't hurt nearly as badly as I expected either.

I left his office and went down to the lab to have some blood drawn to have my cholesterol and my fasting blood sugar checked. While I was there I remembered that the doctor had talked about giving me a tetanus shot but hadn't actually given it to me. So I went back upstairs to his office and Sharon took me right in and gave me the shot. I'd always heard that the tetanus shot is a painful one, but this didn't hurt at all either. I feel like something is wrong--nothing hurt!

I took my bcp scrip down to the pharmacy to get it filled. The pharmacist who filled it ended up being the guy who went hiking with Lolo and Buzz and I up Mt. Si a few weeks ago. I had to work really hard not to be embarrassed about handing him a scrip for bcp's. When I came back later to pick them up he asked me, "Do you think I can talk Lolo into going hiking with us again in few weeks?" The mention of Lolo while I had birth control pills in my hand once again made it very hard not to be embarrassed. Why was he asking me about Lolo? Had he drawn the connection?

Anyway, so now I'm good to go in the contraception department. I'm supposed to start them on the first Sunday after I start my period. According to the package insert they're supposed to be effective 7 days after I start them. I'm a little nervous about taking them, though. I mean, they have so many side effects! Like nausea, bloating, spotting, mood swings, weight gain...will I be miserable? I've never been so looking forward to the arrival of Aunt Flo.