Cartoon horses

2002-12-30 - 6:26 p.m.

Today was a good day. I spent today thinking to myself, "Get off of my back, and into my game; get out of my face, and out of my brain." Yes, inspiration from a cartoon horse, but it seemed to work. I had more work to do today than usual, and yet I finished up quite a bit earlier than I usually do. Of course walking out to the parking lot I realized that I forgot to enter my notes, so I didn't really finish early, but oh well. Anyway, I spent today refusing to be intimidated and walking around like I actually had some confidence in myself. It was weird because I think other people noticed. First of all, while I was doing my drip run this morning in the MSICU, a ward on which I've been working for six weeks now, one of the nurses said, "Are you new here? I haven't seen you around before. I'm Mark." I said, "Um...I'm sort of new...I'm Eucalia, a pharmacy resident, nice to meet you," and we shook hands. On rounds Dr. Harper didn't pay any more attention to me than he usually does, but the other residents did. I got asked a whole bunch of questions by them. And I got touched a lot today. Not that I mind being touched at all. I just don't do much touching myself and people seem to notice the invisible bubble, I don't know. But anyway, I got arms thrown around my shoulders, play punched, poked, tapped, shoulder rubbed...is it sad that having someone touch me is big enough news to make my journal? I go days without being touched by anyone and today was nice. Plus, I think I did fairly well. I had four TPN patients today and I presented them well. Milkshake even complimented me on my presentations. I think he felt guilty for chewing me out last week for my stupidity, but I don't blame him. He was in a bad mood that day, anyway. I don't know what was wrong, but I could tell from a distance that he was in a bad mood, he looked completely disheveled. I did good things for nurses and doctors, got some guy started on Xigris, and I even thought I did a fairly decent job on my antibiotics. David, one of the students a year behind me in pharm school at UOP came to tour my hospital as a possible residency option. He was one of those really, really outgoing people who was really full of self-confidence in school. It was weird to see him nervous. I was presenting my TPNs to Milkshake when Thumbrack brought him by the pharmacy. He didn't recognize me. When Thumbtack told Milkshake that David went to UOP Milkshake asked us if we had known each other in school. David said no but I said, "Oh yeah, you lived in my boyfriend's dorm." He said, "Yeah?" I told him Stretch's name. Then his eyes lit up with recognition. Yes, David never went to sleep. And he lurked in hallways. I couldn't get out of Stretch's room in the wee hours of the morning without David seeing us. I would wave and say hi like everything was fine (which it was) but Stretch, Mr. Can't-Keep-a-Secret-or-Tell-a-Lie, would blush hotly and smile like a sheepish idiot. Ah well. I used to love that about him. Anyway, the worst part of the day was checking out antibiotics with Scotch. I don't think Scotch enjoys telling me I'm stupid anymore than I enjoy hearing it. And she doesn't really tell me I'm stupid. It's more like, "Why is this guy on clinda and flagyl at the same time?" "For his aspiration pneumonia..." "Does he need to be on both of them?" "Um...no...I guess not..." Or, "This guy has strep pneumo growing out of his sputum and he's on nafcillin?" "Yes." "Why?" "Because nafcillin is good for strep pneumo..." Scotch's eyebrows shoot up. "...it's a penicillin." "Yes, but nafcillin isn't the drug of choice for strep pneumo...and look, this is a pan-sensitive bug. And this guy's on Bactrim for PCP. The Bactrim covers the strep too. He doesn't even need a penicillin." You get the idea. I think I know what I'm talking about but it turns out I don't and I feel like a fool. But most of the day went well. Except Dr. Saadi didn't round with us. He was there for the first patient and then he left. I don't know where he went, but leaving during rounds is not uncommon. What was uncommon is that he didn't come back. And then I didn't see him the whole rest of the day. I wonder where he went. I like Dr. Saadi.

My parents went with my aunt to Quincy today to celebrate Christmas with my grandfather. They bought him a big comfy recliner. They're not back yet. I don't have an ETA either. So I watched an episode of Gilmore Girls I had downloaded onto my computer. We missed it on TV a few months ago and I downloaded it from Kazaa but never had a chance to watch it. So I watched it today while eating dinner. It was actually a pretty good episode. There was a scene in which Milo Ventimiglia was looking especially nice. He plays Jess. I like Jess.