Truth has the value of rarity

2002-12-26 - 10:18 a.m.

'Tis the day after Christmas
and all through the clinic
the doctors are ready
but no patients are in it

Sick of crazy relatives 
and loud, rowdy kids 
in their bedrooms hungover
patients keep themselves hid

But the doctors are here
nurses and pharmacists too
waiting for someone
to give them something to do

How long can they organize?
How long surf the net?
How long discuss Christmas
and the gifts they did get?

They sit in their chairs
poised at the ready
stethoscopes polished
hands calm and steady

Will no one come
to clinic today?
Will no one show up?
I really can't say

But they make the best of it
while they are here
and they all look forward
to a happy New Year

**********

Just as I was finishing up that bit of rhyming, trying to figure a way to end it on a cheerful note, the MA came in and told me I had a patient. Which was fine. Great actually, but I had asked someone earlier and had been told that I had no patients--a message which I had passed on to the Mole. Someone somewhere has decreed that pharmacy residents shall not see patients without the Mole present. So I had to call the Mole and he was none too happy about it and it just became a big hairy deal. But it ended up being fine once the Mole got over himself. And now I have a headache. Bah.

Let's talk about Christmas as I munch amiably on a cookie. Oh damn, cookie's gone, but I'll talk about Christmas anyway. My brother flew into town on Christmas Eve eve while I was at work. When I got home he was chopping broccoli for my mom's famous and yummy broccoli pizza which actually has many ingredients other than broccoli. We stayed up late just talking and I was gone to work in the morning before he got up. I came home on Christmas Eve at about 8pm and Christmas dinner was about ready to go. It was excellent, of course. Then I wrapped up the last of my presents which did, in fact, arrive while I was at work. With presents wrapped we then worked on the traditional jigsaw puzzle until my dad couldn't keep his eyes open any longer.

Santa came during the night. He didn't leave as much as he used to, but that's ok because my parents gave me more presents than they used to, so it all equaled out. We opened presents, ate breakfast, showered, and got ourselves in the car for the trip to my grandfather's house. We've been doing the same routine for about twenty-three years now. Since my grandmother died my grandfather has gotten me the same thing for Christmas every year--perfume, chocolates, and money. My aunt, who also comes to the Christmas shindig at Grampa's house, also gives me the same thing every year. At least for the last 3-5 years or so she has given me something cute but ultimately useless. She did not disappoint this year. My grandfather, however, forgot the chocolate and the money and just gave me perfume. Not that it matters, I'm just making observations.

Speaking of observations, my grandfather is completely nutty. Nutty I say. And as a completely random aside, whoever thought of using colace as an ear drop? But back to my grandfather. For Christmas I got him a pair of comfy flannel jams. In the jovial nature of Christmas I asked him to model them. But he refused. I all but begged him to try them on--mostly I just want to see if they fit--but to no avail. However, a few minutes later somehow he started talking about his underwear. And although he didn't model them for us, he was more than willing to bring them out and show them to us. He also proceeded to ask me the same goofy questions about his medications that he asks every time I see him. With one new one. He was recently started on Hytrin. One of Hytrin's side effects is priapism and of course the patient hand out described priapism in excruciating layman terms. So he was concerned about that happening to him. And worse, would taking Viagra potentiate this effect? I basically told him that, no, there is no interaction between Hytrin and Viagra and Hytrin-induced priapism is uncommon but still possible. The funny thing is first thing this morning Dr. Siebles asked me if there is an interaction between Hytrin and Viagra because Merck-Medco is refusing to fill a prescription which she had written for those two. I looked in a million places and could find nothing. I finally called Pfizer and they told me that there is a possible additive hypotensive effect and the two drugs should not be taken less than four hours apart. This is all based on unpublished data, they said. So now I have to decide, should I call my grandfather up and tell him about this interaction? It has absolutely nothing to do with priapism...and you would think that most people would take their Hytrin in the morning and their Viagra at night...but who knows?

Anyway, after another Christmas dinner at my grandfather's house we packed up and drove back home. The usual tradition is to spend Christmas night there, but I had to work today and my brother had to fly out, so we left Christmas night. On the way home the four of us managed to sing Christmas carols for two hours straight--the duration of the trip--without repeating a single carol. When we got home we were all hoarse. We worked on the puzzle a bit more and then it was time for bed. This morning before I left for work the whole family managed to drag themselves out of bed so my brother could say good bye. That made me happy. But I still cried.